First Things First

Not long ago I was on a call with an individual who was continually berating himself.

He spent quite a bit of time putting himself down, calling himself names, and finally in exasperation asked "what is wrong with me?!"

I asked him why he allows himself to speak to himself that way?

I continued saying that by just listening to him, it was evident that he did not love himself all that much.

If this was true, then it would be that much more challenging to love others fully.

As we continued our discussion we were able to identify that the voice of shame had a front-row seat in his mind and had written a bleak story about the man he was.

One of the outcomes was speaking of himself in such a harsh manner. He also went on to list a number of other negative ways this manifested itself.

All too often we allow the voice of shame in our lives to write our narrative. We allow it to create a story about ourselves that is not true.

There are times of clarity when we know it is not true, but rather than push against it, we believe it and it becomes destructive and keeps us from living life to its fullest.

I believe the key to loving others is to first, love ourselves. And in order to do so, we have to get back to whom God created us to be.

It took me until I was 46 years old to be able to look in the mirror and truly love the man who was staring back at me; a life-changing and emotional moment.

If you have come to believe a story about yourself that says anything other than you are worthy, you have value and you are loved, begin the process of shedding that false belief and begin loving yourself.

It will improve your life in so many ways.

On the journey with you,

Carlos

This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.