Saying Yes And Not Keeping Score

When Susanne and I first moved back to New York, there were a number of months when we were in limbo.

The RV that we lived in for the previous 9-months was put in storage and while we were getting closer with the house renovations, we still had quite a way to go.

During that time we moved upstairs where there was a full-sized bed and a smattering of furniture, while everything else that we took from the RV was strewn all over in a “semi-organized” fashion. It was organized chaos.  

We lacked some basic things like a kitchen which forced us to get really creative with a toaster oven and an Instapot. However, we did focus on the important things and made sure the coffee maker was running.

While it was not ideal few months, we took away many lessons during this time, the biggest of which was saying “yes!”

When it comes to receiving help from others. My tendency is to say “No, we’re fine….everything’s fine”. And while yes, things are fine in the broader sense; there are some things we did need help with. And during those months, we saw friends old and new step in and lead me to welcome help and say yes.

• A friend who knows us well texted Susanne asking if I wanted her to drop off a portable heater (we were waiting for our heat to be reinstalled). She immediately followed up with a “Never mind. I am bringing it now.”  
• We had several people bring meals and we graciously accepted every time without feeling like I had to offer something in return.
• We had one neighbor who told us to bring our laundry over and use her machines. What she did not know is that we had just gotten rid of the broken washer and dryer and had been planning a trip to the laundromat in the next couple of days.  
• Others pitched in to help in various ways and the outpouring of the community was most appreciated and overwhelming.

So we learned to say “yes”. 

I so often have a hard time accepting help from others. However, during this time the one thing I stopped doing is making a mental checklist of all the people that I now “owe” because they have shown kindness to us. There was no mental scoreboard.

While I am getting better, it is something I still struggle with from time to time and I still wonder why I do.

I don’t give to others expecting anything in return; I simply love to help wherever I can. And I should accept that others are doing the same.

Part of my Life Design plan at this moment is about being willing to receive blessings and help from others and simply be grateful for them and not keep a tally of who I "owe".

It’s also a great reminder that something that seems so simple can actually be a great encouragement to someone.

Open yourself up to accepting help and love for others and offer the same to someone else, even if there is not a visible need. You never know the impact you will make.

On the journey with you,

Carlos

This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.