Stepping Off The Emotional Roller Coaster

Last year our youngest went off to college. At the time we lived in Colorado and his school was a 17-hour drive as he, like our other three children, went to school out of state.

On his return drive to begin his second semester I received a mid-afternoon call from him.

"Dad, I have no idea what happened, but my car stopped running and there is debris all over the road."

Clearly, a less than ideal situation, but my first question was "are you safe"? Knowing that he was, we could then deal with the situation at hand.

AAA came through and towed the car to a garage and a dear friend who lived an hour away picked him up and gave him a much-needed home-cooked dinner and a place to sleep for the night.

The next morning brought more bad news. The mechanic told me the car was totaled. While it was new to my son, the costs of the repairs would supersede the value of the car.

We spent most of that morning developing a plan to get him to school, talking to our insurance company, and working through a number of logistical issues.

With all of the inconvenience and frustration, I noticed one thing in particular. I was calm and at peace.

While that may not seem like a big thing, for me it was monumental.

For years I allowed my emotions to rule my response to situations and when things did not go according to plan, I would throw a good old-fashioned tantrum.

In this situation, I accepted the fact that this was the current state of things. My son was safe and getting angry would not change the present reality.  

I continue to work very hard to be mindful and stay in the present and take notice of my emotions. 

What I have learned is how strongly our emotions are tied to the past and the impact they can have on how we respond in the present. 

We can become so addicted to our emotions that they become our normal and this is when our emotions rule us. We become conditioned by them and they often create a roller-coaster existence that betrays our happiness and impacts those around us.

• If you struggle with regulating your emotions or find your first response to people or situations comes from your emotional center, be mindful of the role your past may be playing.

You can control your emotions and even in the midst of less than ideal circumstances find pace and calm; it may take some work, but it is better than living on the roller coaster.

On the journey with you,

This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.