What Is Love?

Love.

It is a big word.

Countless songs have been written about it. It is a running theme in any number of movies. Television networks have made a fortune creating reality shows for people to find it. And millions have flocked to dating sites in hopes they can find the love of a lifetime.

We are obsessed with the notion of love.

You hear people talk about their soul mate - until that person is no longer your soulmate.

We talk about falling in love, until we are no longer in love and it's time to move on.

We talk about true love that lasts a lifetime, yet the divorce rate in the US is over 50%.

There are many sides to love and while it is easy to look at the romantic side of love, there are some realities of love that have to be understood.

Love is hard, it’s messy, it’s complicated, it’s beautiful, it’s enjoyable, rewarding, etc. 

Love can also be deceiving, because it is so much more than a warm feeling and butterflies in the stomach.

The false notion of love is selfish; seeking to find one that will fulfill our wants, needs, and desires.

True love is sacrificial. It is a choice that one makes . . . to love.

True love partnership is two people with their own distinct identities choosing to make a life together, serve each other and support each other's hopes and dreams.

How do we know that true love is present in a relationship?

Here’s a little test that may help. When things go wrong, what is your partner’s response? What is your response to them?

If their response only revolves around themselves, or your response is focused on you and how you are affected you may have a problem.

If the primary concern is for the other person and the impact on the relationship, I’d say that’s one positive sign of genuine love.    

True love isn’t about what you get out of the relationship, it’s about what you can give. 

My advice, give extravagantly.

On the journey with you,

Carlos

This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.