Are You Managing or Controlling?
I would not describe myself as an anxious person and most likely nor would anyone who knows me. So when I met with my therapist a number of years ago I was surprised to find out that I tested high for anxiety.
She explained to me that "most people take like in from a very close range, but you? You have your antennas stretched out as far out as they can go and are taking in everything and have a continual response to all of it."
While at first, I did not believe I fit the typical description of someone with anxiety, I have to admit that with all that the last many years have brought it should not have come as a surprise.
Regardless of how I felt I was dealing with my anxiety, I realized that managing it and controlling it are two very different things.
Controlling my anxiety and emotions meant burying it, pretending it didn’t exist, ignoring red flags, not speaking up, and a host of other unhealthy responses.
Managing it is acknowledging it, verbalizing, and processing it with a trusted partner or friend, in my case, Susanne.
Life, as we all know is unpredictable, even when you approach it from a Life Design perspective. And it is the unexpected things in my life that cause me the most anxiety.
Recently, I was able to test my new approach of management instead of control.
An unexpected event occurred. I noticed I maintained my calm, cool demeanor and was saying all the right words. Deep down I knew all would be ok, but typically this situation would have caused great angst in me.
However, this time there was a huge difference.
Although the words and my outward actions were the same (anyone on the outside would not notice a difference) it felt extremely different in my body.
I truly believed the words I was saying and my body believed my mindset. This was the difference between controlling and managing.
I have worked hard and continue to work hard to be in tune with my anxiety especially when old patterns of response creep in.
Things are going to go wrong and not according to plan, I can guarantee that.
I will continue to manage them as they arise and not opt for control.
I hope you will join me in taking a look at how we handle our anxiety and our emotions and rather than letting them guide us, let us manage and live from a place of health and strength.
On The Journey With You,
Carlos
If you are a fan of podcasts, I encourage you to listen to the latest episode of The Life Design podcast. The last episode of the first half of 2022 was with Tiffany Krumins, a winner on the pilot episode of Shark Tank.
This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.