Are You Really There?

There is a certain feeling when you are in a conversation with someone and they make you feel like you are the only person in the room.

We all know people like this or have had encounters where this is the case. There are stories we have heard of celebrities and politicians who do this well, they make the person they are speaking with feel heard and seen. When you hear the stories of those who have met them they rave about how that one individual made them feel like they were the center of attention.

It is a wonderful feeling to feel important and to feel heard. Yet, so many times we are distracted, distant, and not fully present. While we may be physically present, we are not available and that lack of availability is almost always noticed.

I often share the story about my daughter Lauren that goes like this . . .

“2016 was the first time in my career that I did not take my laptop on vacation (an embarrassing fact). About three days into our vacation, our daughter Lauren who was 16 at the time thanked me for leaving the computer at home. I thanked her for that and then assured her that on previous trips, I always worked before she and her brothers woke up. She replied, ‘I know, but then you would speed the rest of the day thinking about those things you worked on.’ It was a tough thing to hear but she was right.”

Our relationships not only need our time, attention, availability, and presence; it is what they deserve.

If we say we value our relationships, we need to show it by making them the center of attention.

We need to put away our distractions (insert put away your phone here), we need to protect that time and space we have with our relationships and nurture them. This cannot be done when we are somewhere else mentally and emotionally.

If you are struggling to connect in a relationship, perhaps it is due to a lack of presence and availability. Maybe what is needed is a step forward in vulnerability; which requires us to be fully present, aware, and without distraction.

On the journey with you,

Carlos

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This edition was first published in The Life Design Newsletter on LinkedIn.